When I entered this room in August I have to admit I was a
bit overwhelmed. Not by the task ahead of me of the actual teaching Kindergarten
but by the task of organizing and creating the ‘just right’ room. I wanted my
room to be perfect, the place where all my kindergarten students wanted to come
everyday, be filled with excitement and belonging and most of all happiness.
This, however, was what I saw. It just
looked like a pile of ‘stuff’, not to mention the piles of ‘stuff’ I still had
at home and in my car. I have to admit here that I still have a pile at my house I am slowly working on
bringing to school….
The room slowly came around to look like this and I slowly
began to relax a bit and not be so worried about the ‘stuff’. After all, 19
years of teaching there is bound to be some extra boxes here and there. The
colors, the brightness, the layout were all coming together. Now I had to think
about the organizational pieces, lesson plans, labeling areas, all the bits and
pieces I knew had to still be done. All of those touches never quite happened
and honestly, still have not happened in their entirely 6 weeks into the school
year.
What has happened is that I have a sweet little class and an
expanded extended family. I do love teaching and every year when I get a class
I seem to forget that I inherit a more ;kids’ that will forever be mine and
parents that become like brothers and sisters to me as times goes on. Teaching
in a resource position has been such a provalege and there have certainly been
may elements of that over the years, especially as I have worled with some of
the same families and kids for 5-6 years in many cases. They will be mine as
well. I know I should probably more correct with the possessive terminology
here but for lack of a better word… when one possesses a special place within
your heart that space becomes a permanent shape and it is like those candy
hearts with their names etched on them; hence ‘my hearts’.
The other week my Mom and daughter came to visit. The
students and my family were all so sweet with each other; I was a peripheral
person in the room and that is how I would imagine it to be when families
become merged. My families merged into one and I saw once again one of the many
reasons why I just love having a class of students; they become like my own
children in many ways and I am trusted to teach them how to read, write,
understand and do math, discover the world around them with scientific eyes and
ears, explore and chart new paths, build teams and develop friendships, and so
many other things that the list is only defined by a limited imagination. I am
also entrusted to care for them, just like they were my own; keep them safe,
protect them, cherish them for the precious little humans they are. I saw this;
my daughter and student, listening to my Mom read a story, and my heart just
melted.
I certainly do not do everything perfectly, as a parent nor
as a teacher. My room is still not set up exactly ‘right’, everyday I come home
with a to do list that does not get finished, I have one at home that is never
ending as well. And yet, every morning I wake up so excited to start the day. I
love my family and say goodbye and drive to work thinking about my day ahead.
As I enter this room and I can only imagine what adventures await me. I love
seeing my kids, love being their teacher and at the end of the day I love being
a mother wife sister daughter and all those things that help me become a
teacher again in the morning. Truth is I am all those things, all the time, as
one cannot exist without being all of who we are simultaneously. It provides us
with perspective, patience, understanding and most of all the capacity to love.
I will keep working from my lists and keep working on
organizing all those areas but my heart… in the right place? Check! So glad to
be back!